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Jiggly Bits

It's currently 3:00 am.  I have been up since about 1:30ish.  My baby has been sleeping this *entire time.*  So what on earth is wrong with me? I should be sleeping.  Alas, no idea.  I can't sleep and am wide awake at this early hour.
 Actually, I do have an idea why I might be up.  My boobs were aching.  Nice, eh? But seriously, they were.  I first woke up to stroke baby's tummy because she was fussing in her sleep.  When she settled down, I realized I had to go pee.  After that, I noticed the ache in my chest when I tried to lay down again.  I got up to pump, which led to the assembling of newly-sterilized bottles, which led to FB updates and blog reading, and now I am wired and ready to go!

So now I am faced with a dilemma: Baby Loquacious is due to wake up in the next 30-45 minutes.  Do I try to get some shut-eye and risk being groggy for the next shift, or do I stay awake and ride this energy wave like nobody's business until after the shift is over?  To me, the choice is obvious (hence the blog post).

As I was pumping topless, I mused at my disgustingly floppy, saggy, soft belly.  It never used to look like this, even at my fattest.  My gut had some muffin-toppage happening, sure, but it didn't feel like it was made of soft white bread dough and it didn't have markings all over it, and a layer of hair that had better fall off or else I'm going to be making weekly pilgrimages to my local waxing place.  Anyway, I wonder what is causing my belly to feel like it's made of jelly, and I also wonder at what point all of the breastfeeding will pay off in weight loss.  Is it 6 weeks? 6 months? 6 years? Never?

I have to admit, staring down at the jiggly wiggly gut, I am tempted to give my OB a call.  Did I mention? He also specializes in cosmetic liposuction - no word of a lie.  I'm starting to think God is giving me a sign ;) Seriously, though - I am tempted to enlist his services once we're done baby-making for good.  If *one* baby can lead to this sort of overhang, I dread the after-effects of having two.

Thankfully, my self-esteem remains intact despite the flabby mid-section.  In decades past, I am sure I would have panicked and gone on an extreme dieting phase in hopes of undoing the damage.  However, I have since learned not to sweat it, but to try to sweat it off when I can (2.5 more weeks!). I think that the sleep deprivation, adoration of baby, and general busyness of motherhood also distracts from the self-centered, me-oriented image issues I would otherwise have had.  Instead, I'm simply too transfixed with caring for baby's needs (and self-preservation - like eating, sleeping, and general personal hygiene) to care about my appearance.  Heck, I haven't even put on full make-up since Baby Loquacious was born; in fact, I've even ventured out in public sans fards on more than one occasion, which (if you know me) you know is pretty much unheard of.  

Will I return to the gym? I hope to.  Will I do my make-up routine again? Yes, and probably soon.  But I won't get all crazy hung-up on my looks like I used to, since I feel like there are just more important things I should be focusing on. 

That said, if this smooshy belly doesn't GTFO I will be putting Dr. Rosengarten on speed dial.




Comments

Well, you grew a term baby and had surgery! Both of those together will take time to get things back to normal.Plus you are still fresh postpartum and it takes awhile for pregnancy hormones to leave your body. So don't call for your lipo just yet!!
~Rain``` said…
After baby #2, I allowed myself to step on the scale six weeks postpartum. I was heavier than I was after the birth of baby #1. I really didn't like how my body looked. I was just plain frumpy!But, like you said, there were bigger things to worry about as a mother. Desired weight loss eventually came (18 months later) and I am content with how I look now. All in good time, right? Keep enjoying Baby L. as you and Hubbs are doing! This stage flies by way to fast! I am mourning the end of baby making. *sigh* Reading your blog brings back many beautiful and sleep-deprived memories! :) I can relate on so many levels. Keep writing, even at 3 AM.

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