Skip to main content

A Question for the Mommas

So Hubbs will be heading out of town for several days in a couple of weeks' time.  Usually, I accompany him when it's a longer trip and I stay in town when it's a shorter one.  This is a shorter one.  It also happens to be the first trip that he'll be taking where I am left alone with Baby L.

I have never ever done even 24 hours alone with Baby L.  N.E.V.E.R.

Yeah, spoiled/blessed/lucky me.  Until now, that is.

How on earth am I going to survive 4 days of non-stop baby-caring without my Hubbs to help spell me off?!?

More importantly, how the heck am I going to use the potty to do #2 and keep Baby L contained?!? 

What do you do when you need to go, and your baby is being uber-clingy?!?
I am worried.  Scared, even.  And my kid is smart; she can smell fear.

Although the small, rational part of my brain insists that I will be fine and that Baby L and I will have a great time doing "Girls Week" and going on adventures and dates together, there is also that giant hyper-paranoid/emotional/less-rational section of my brain that is drowning in "What if's."  What if she misses her Daddy and becomes inconsolably fussy? What if she wakes up every freakin' hour during the night for 4 days, making me delirious with fatigue and unable to function? What if I'm too tired to engage and stimulate her developing little brain? What if I need to shower and she won't sit in the bouncer or the baby snug seat? ...

And so on, and so forth.

This is why I need advice from the mommies out there, the brave and the beautiful who have spent countless hours and days taking care of their little people (often several, and not just one) without the assistance of a dutiful spouse who takes shifts during the evening (or an emergency bathroom run).

How on earth do you do this?!




tejanamama said…
You are SERIOUSLY overthinking this. I get being worried since you have never done a stint alone, but its far easier than you think. Don't be so scared and don't be worried about her "smelling" your fear. She will sense all feelings you have and most of those have been good ones up to now. She won't be human if she doesn't learn them all! Calm down some and just go with the flow. She is going to LOVE being lavished in mama time all the time and won't barely get that he is gone. She will miss him and be SUPER excited when he is back, but kids roll with the punches FAR better than you would think or than you ever can/will. They don't see past the very moment they are in so they don't dwell and they don't worry. All she knows is she is being loved and cared for and that her belly is full and she is warm and snuggled by affection. SERIOUSLY. I promise. WORST CASE SCENARIO she isn't continuously stimulated for every second of the 4 days, she won't be doomed to idiotdom. SHe will find moments to explore tiny little details of you and her surroundings that she naturally comes upon and notices that she hasn't before in the past. Kiddos at that age take things in with a hunger that you and I have for baked goods. Licking every finger clean and slowly enjoying every iota of even things they have previously explored. Don't sweat it mama. It is a VERY good thing for both of you to experience this dada-less-ness. You will emerge from the week stronger and more secure in yourself (as a capable parent) and so will Dara.
FTD went to Vegas for 3 day for a wedding when Oliver was only 3 months old. I freaked out leading up to it. Then the days flew by. I was exhusted by the time dad landed, but I was never too overwhelmed. That being said, at 3 monht Oliver was MUCH easier.

You will get through fine. If I need to shower I put Ollie in his jumper at the door of the bathroom, or in his crib for a little play time. Both give me 5-10 minutes fuss free. Good luck! ; )

In other news... I am giving you a LIEBSTER blogging Award! Check tomorrows blog for details!!
jessicabold said…
Tim goes out of town kind of frequently...twice since Kellan, I think? I was scared the first time...but now it is easier.

As for #2....if you gotta go..,,well....I put Kellan in his PnP, turn on the Baby Channel (directv....) and do mah thang. It distracts him long enough.

During the day I try to have one "thing" to do (play date, etc) and at night when Tim would usually be home....I just get through it. Dinner is hard -or the lack thereof - but somehow we manage....let me know if you need to vent etc!!! :)
Kitten said…
Your daughter will most likely not even care. My husband left for weeks and months at a time even when my son was nearly two years old. How much he cared = 10%, maybe? Before a year, he just did not even give so long as I was around.

I would also suggest having some people over, such as close friends who might want to hold the baby (especially if you prefer daytime showers). Otherwise, stick your baby in a pack and play during bathroom runs. If you hate to hear your baby cry, you use the potty even if you need to stick an exesaucer or jumper in the bathroom with you.

GET OUT OF THE HOUSE. The hours pass faster sitting at a Barnes and Noble reading books to your baby in the cafe than they do sitting at home.
mazoola said…
i agree it's not as bad as it sounds especially because the weather is nice. so walks, park time, stroller time for outdoors.
when im in the washroom, i sit Max at the door of the washroom and he can explore the new environment textures (it doesnt bother me if i'm doing whatever and he's there watching)
when i take a shower, i have him on the car seat with a snack or toys and it's in the bathroom with me. i open the curtain and check on him every now and then (he cries sometimes, but i know he's safe)
if he's sleeping in his room, i just shower with the door open.
if im cooking, i have a baby gate so he doesnt go in the kitchen and cause an accident. but im not cooking like risotto or anything that commits me to the stove forever
~Rain``` said…
You have received good advice already. Just remember, it's okay if (1) you cry; (2) baby L cries; and (3) you do something less idealic with your daughter for your own sanity. Be gracious with yourself, and yes, get out of the house or have someone over. And pray.

Children are pretty resilient and adapt to change better than us at times! Enjoy this time with her!

Btw, I take my showers in the evening, once my kids are settled down for the night, even when my husband is out of town. As for bathroom breaks, I put my babies in a safe place (crib or PnP) and did my business alone. And if they cried, I usually could tell what kind of cry it was ("I miss you" versus "I'm hurt!") and acted accordingly ("I'll do my thing" versus "I'll come get you right away!") That's just me. Do what feels right to you.
I can understand the worry but I am sure you will be more than fine! You are capable and maybe your husband can bring you a treat home from his trip ;)

One of my simple pleasures right now is having time just with the baby. My husband will take the older one out for a long day outing and we get hours upon hours of time just together. LOVE!
Mrs. Loquacious said…
Thank you so much for the support and the encouragement ladies! Stay tuned for my updates. I'm so not a natural at this. :(

Popular posts from this blog

Gone with the FLLO - Traveling with the Clek FLLO

In previous posts, I've already detailed the awesomeness of Clek's FLLO seat, so no need for redundancy here. The true test of its greatness lies in how well it travels, since it is meant to be a "compact" and more portable version of the gargantuan FOONF.

Now, to be clear, we purchased a Clek WEELEE bag to transport our car seat on our flight to and from Maui, *and* we checked our car seat with our airline, which I know is a big CPS Tech no-no. They argue that any car seat that has been checked is as good as crashed, because the potential rough handling of the seat by the carrier compromises its integrity and could damage it internally. My experience (now that I've done it) is this:

a) The Weelee bag is very well padded and sturdy. Once I had the seat properly placed inside the bag, I felt that it was as good as any seat in a styrofoam-packaged box. The bonus, of course, is that unlike a box, the Weelee has a telescopic handle and deeply-grooved, rugged wheels, …

Outgrow. Outlast. - The Finale of Our BF Journey

To be completely honest, I almost didn't write this post. While I'm usually fairly open about my opinions and parenting choices, I've held this one pretty close to the vest in recent years, because it is a more controversial - and personal- decision than most others. Sadly, it is one that many Western mothers are also unfairly judged for, despite it being completely natural in many other parts of our world.

The choice: full-term, aka "extended," breastfeeding. Little L and I chose to continue our nursing journey beyond age 2, and 3, and even 4. In fact, we only weaned a couple of weeks ago. We had already stopped nursing in public and nursing on demand several years earlier, but it was only recently that Little L was ready to completely wean from her nighttime and early morning sessions; she had finally outgrown her need to drink from my milk. The most clear signs of this were her growing desire for "privacy" and alone time, and her "nye-nye"

An Eyeliner Switcheroo

For the past several years, I've been a very loyal Stila Stay All Day Waterproof Eye Liner fan. I mean, I use the stuff every single day, and I like to do dramatic wings on my eyes, so I need a quality eyeliner that is high pigment, won't smear, and has an amazing fine-tipped brush that will let me draw my eyeliner wings to a very long, dramatic tip. My standards are exacting when it comes to liquid liner. 

That said, my wallet hates me for it. Those amazing liners cost $30 a pop, and they only last a couple of months at the rate that I use them. 
So, as any responsible adult tries to do, I've attempted to save money and find a cheaper alternative. I've used all sorts of liners sent by IPSY, or bought at my local drugstore. Unfortunately, every attempt I've made has resulted in great regret. The brush applicator was too wide or too short. The eyeliner smudged too easily. The pigment wasn't dark enough. You get the idea.
However, I think I've finally found m…