|Because I love this kid!|
Some things that have changed for me, post-Baby L, are surprising. One of these changes concerns my choice of TV shows.
Pre-baby, I was totally a crime show buff. My faves were C.S.I.:Vegas, Law & Order: SVU, Criminal Minds... notice a theme? Gory and graphic, dealing with the worst in human depravity and deviance - those were my thing (much to Hubbs' dismay!). As a kid growing up, I was an avid non-fiction reader of true crime stories, and as an adult I was intrigued (sort of like a voyeur) by the sicknesses that can plague the mind. I guess that's why I studied psychology, and also why I jumped at the opportunity to work in a federal parole office with sex offenders during my internship.
But, like, something happened when Baby L was born. A part of me that I didn't know existed sprung to life like a momma bear protecting her cubs, and simultaneously a part of me that is equal parts fascinated/repulsed by the stuff in these shows just sort of died.
And now I can no longer watch these shows. Period.
I tried, too. I DVR'ed all of them with big plans to view once Baby L was in bed. But seriously, I found myself reading the synopses first, and then deleting episode after episode because I simply could not go there mentally. Not as a person, and definitely not as a mother. Especially with episodes that deal with kids being hurt - those are the worst. But even ones that only involve adults now disturb me beyond comprehension, and I have lost all appetite and interest in following these shows.
This isn't necessarily a good or a bad thing; it's just a very surprising thing for me.
The silver lining is that, aside from these crime shows (and Vampire Diaries), I really wasn't watching a whole lot of TV pre-Baby L. Now, I'm down to one show that happens once a week, and that's probably a good thing, since too much TV is never that good for me anyway. More time to sleep! :P