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Rules to Live By: Toddler Edition Pt. 1

Thanks to this post from First Time Mom and Dad, I was inspired to write a few toddler rules that Little L seems to live by. See if you can relate; I think most toddlers got the same memo ;)

A) Eating off the floor is always preferable to eating off a plate. Juicy or crumbly things are particularly tasty after a good roll on the hardwood. Points if you can leave a little something behind for later.

B) Bibs are for losers. Don't be a loser.

C) Cutlery is also for losers. See above.

D) Change your mind often and abruptly. Best to do so immediately after your adult has responded to your initial request. 

E) Practice the "cute face." Use liberally to achieve your goals (like scoring chocolate). They won't resist.

F) The best day to mess with the nap or sleep schedules is always the one when there is some outing or event planned. Double points when this activity requires your attendance. Triple points when cancelling would cost your adults ..... dearly.

G) Toilets are swimming pools for your toys. That's why they are the perfect height for you to reach!

H) The sun going to bed does not dictate your bedtime. The sun coming up does not dictate your wake-up time either. Sleep when you feel tired and wake up when you don't. You're nobody's monkey.

I) Any elevated surface can be climbed. Challenge: accepted!

J) Don't worry about the mess. Mom will clean it up.

K) Want to watch some TV? Go find Dad.

L) Never let them catch you singing or reading out loud or showing what brilliant thing you can do, on video. Abort mission the moment the iPhone comes out.

J) Juice is the new water.

K) Walking is optional. That's what grown-ups are for. 

L) But if you do want to walk, pick crowded places, narrow sidewalks, and heavy-traffic areas. And pick up your pace! Your adult can move fast if they need to. Trust.

M) God made you to be naked. Be free!

N) Mommy's food always tastes better than your own. And if she won't share it, it's because it tastes extra good.

O) The loud outside voice sounds even better, inside. Especially when the house is quiet, like when Daddy's sleeping.

P) Toothpaste is the best tasting stuff ever, besides ice cream and chocolate. Ask for more.

Q) A favourite book should be reread 20 times in one day. 

R) Any time you're on your feet and moving, it counts as dancing.

S) Painting is only fun when it's not on paper 

T) Bath time is more fun with bubbles. If you splash the water, it's even more exciting.

U) An easy way to see Mommy run is to say, "I have to go potty." Actually going potty is optional.


Sharon said…
hahaha hilarious :)

Bibs are for losers...

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